Darwin's Mistake
(author unknown)

Three monkeys sat on a coconut tree

Discussing things as they're said to be.

Said one to the others, "Now listen, you two,

There is a certain rumor that can't be true

That man descended from our noble race.

That very idea is a disgrace.

No monkey ever deserted his wife,

Starved her babies or ruined her life.

And another thing you will never see:

A monkey build a fence around a coconut tree

And let the coconuts go to waste

Forbidding all the other monkeys to taste.

If I put a fence around this tree,

Starvation would force you to steal from me.

Here's another thing a monkey won't do:

Go out at night and get on a stew,

And use a gun, or club, or knife

To take some other monkey's life.

Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss -

But, brother, he didn't descend from us.